how do you get a nice body without moving
(via iwillsetfiretoyourgenitals)
| teacher: | describe yourself in one word |
| me: | done |
Who came up with kissing? Seriously?
Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice”
*violently bashes head together again*
“This should be a thing”kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person
*Bashes heads once more*
You are a prime candidate for my child.
(via iwillsetfiretoyourgenitals)
OMG YES!in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me
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How to Ask Someone Out
| Step 1: | Bump into the person you fancy. Then drop your belongings and yell "YOU WANNA GO?!" |
| Step 2: | Continuing yelling until the other person responds to something similar to "THEN LETS GO" |
| Step 3: | Lightly push each other around a bit. **This fighting also give you the tiny opportunity to touch their chest** |
| Step 4: | Yell "YOU WANNA GO-" then get down on one knee, hold their hand and end with "OUT?!" |
| Step 5: | Success! If this doesn't succeed, honey they are not worth it |
Okay so the other day I did a cave tour with my family.
Before we went in, the tour guide was giving a speech about how we should respect the cave.
He asked the whole group “Who does this cave belong to?” And I, thinking everybody was in the same mindset as me, yelled out “NATURE!” And everyone stared at me like I was an idiot but I think it was the right answer. Ignorant bitches…
reasons not to kill yourself
- chicken tender
- the billionth number of pi is 9
- it’s not gay if it’s on the moon
- sponges feel cool
- highdeas.com
- joe biden
- the letter Q
- dirt
(via iwillsetfiretoyourgenitals)
